is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize