I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
