The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
