Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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