Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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