The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
