You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize