I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
