She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
