yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
