I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
