i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
