Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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