i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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