She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
