my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
