Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
