when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
