His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
