I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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