I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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