dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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