and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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