When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
