well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
