some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
two words: eviction party
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
