You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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