dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
