Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
