Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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