If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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