have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
