worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
