Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
