Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
