I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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