think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
