Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
