oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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