I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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