That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
