you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
