So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
