seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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