She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
