Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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