somebody snuck up and got me drunk
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
