i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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