Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He shit in the fireplace
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