I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize