who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What a dumb baby whore.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
