i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The Olympian is in my bed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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