found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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