I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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