my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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