What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize