no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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