And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
