Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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