he wants to bone in the snuggie
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
