I accidentally had phone sex last night
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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