Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.

  (406): View more from Montana

  IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.

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  (509): Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober. (406): IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out. http://tfl.nu/sia4
  Replies (10) Good night (1002) Bad night (3881)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night

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  (917): you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night http://tfl.nu/accx
  Replies (8) Good night (1081) Bad night (6543) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.

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  (610): Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name. http://tfl.nu/1ows
  Replies (57) Good night (1012) Bad night (14988) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.

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  (240): i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with. http://tfl.nu/66qi
  Replies (8) Good night (3833) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"

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  (901): as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air" http://tfl.nu/6w47
  Replies (12) Good night (4299) Bad night (1091) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.

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  (401): she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch! (508): because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking. http://tfl.nu/qlq5
  Replies (19) Good night (8941) Bad night (1121)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it

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  (330): we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it http://tfl.nu/pd6c
  Replies (11) Good night (2111) Bad night (2968) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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  (360): Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day http://tfl.nu/ru8t
  Replies (30) Good night (1698) Bad night (4531) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.

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  (360): We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced. http://tfl.nu/trxy
  Replies (4) Good night (3310) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  ...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????

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  (312): ...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because???? http://tfl.nu/17np
  Replies (5) Good night (2716) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.

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  (+64): I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked. http://tfl.nu/59qo
  Replies (5) Good night (3478) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.

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  (626): It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/eehp
  Replies (5) Good night (1889) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.

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  (859): We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information. http://tfl.nu/bnu1
  Replies (1) Good night (998) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket

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  (252): See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket http://tfl.nu/0lhc
  Replies (11) Good night (1341) Bad night (422)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Dinner?

  (713): View more from Texas

  YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!

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  (281): Dinner? (713): YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!! http://tfl.nu/zi0g
  Replies (2) Good night (1386) Bad night (393)

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