I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.