its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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